Thanks for your responses.
It’s unfathomable that these churches exist, but we have two in our small community, one at either end of town, and they’re tightly knit with other assemblies within their non-denom denom worldwide.
I hope to get over this, and pray I’m not using it as an excuse, but I really don’t trust anyone anymore. For instance, the thought of signing a membership card with a church is something I will likely never do. I hope this is just a season, as I don’t want to be an outsider all the time, but that’s where I’m at right now. I think what God is showing me is that in spite of it all, He hasn’t left me nor forsaken me, even though I feel alone, I am not.
Yes Tom, I repent (or try to) daily in hopes that my heart is not deceiving me and I grow a bitter root. Feeling so uncertain about everything is very troubling but it’s what drives me to the foot of the cross more now than ever before.