I am sorry to hear of your experiences. While not as extreme, I have been in situations somewhat similar to what you describe. I was a member in a reformed church that “disciplined” a young man, who was 17 or 18 at the time, for eating a hamburger secretly against his father’s command. His father had become convinced that a vegetarian diet was best for him and his family. Because this young man had not “honored his father and mother” he was required to keep himself from the Lord’s Supper for a certain period of time. This was not a frequent event in that church, but the law hung heavy in that place, at least it did for me. In God’s mercy he has brought me out of that kind of thinking. But yes, that mindset is not uncommon.
There are many reasons I am no longer a Presbyterian, but this kind of misuse of church discipline is one of them for sure. And I have seen it in more than one conservative Bible believing Presbyterian church.
And now I will repent of this anger, and remember the gospel again!